So, snacking. I think this is my biggest vice (and it also conviniently encompases other vices such as chocolate, chips and Cheese Bretons because these are things I love to snack on. Snacking is a good umbrella term, I think). And this week I've been struggling a lot with it. I always seem to be hungry! But, to be fair, that isn't really true. I'm not really hungry when I want to snack - I just want to eat. A lot. And preferably of something super delicious (read: bad for me). My new favorite thing is pretzels. Delicious. Peanut Butter Pretzels?! Yes, please. Sign me up.
Part of me knows that this is all mind over matter and I just need to put my big girl pants on, suck it up and tell myself, 'self, you do not need anymore *insert unhealthy food I've been snacking on, repeatedly, non-stop all week here*'. But another part of me thinks about doing this and says, 'self, screw it! Eat whatever you want, you're pretty skinny now, you can afford a week off!' But I know this is backwards thinking and takes me back to my pre-weight loss days where this was my mindset 24/7: who cares, do what you want, you're young, enjoy life! And in many ways that's true - I am making some (albeit very little...) progress on my plan to beat myself up less over small indulgences. But in many other ways it's exactly the kind of sentiment that got me to that fork in the road where I said 'enough!'
The problem is that knowing this, and recognizing the fact that I know exactly how to be successful and not fall off the wagon in terms of fitness and nutrition, and really implementing it in my life and putting down the snacks are two different things. Snacks are so good! They make me happy. They taste delicious. They provide something to do. I just like them, okay?!? They are good. And I want them. So I have given in all week to my cravings - and I will promise myself I will stop...tomorrow. Maybe not tonight...there are still pretzels to be eaten... :)
This is part of my growing process. I know that a few snacks here or there, on a day where I've made it to the gym and worked out hard, aren't the end of the world. It becomes an issue if I start telling this to myself everyday. And I won't let that happen! That's part of the battle - knowing when is enough, what is too much, and how to avoid making an occasional indulgence into a repeated pattern. This is all part of the growing process - and I'm starting to realize more and more that it's a process. There isn't ever going to be an end, a point where I say 'okay, I'm done, time to live life!' This will always be my journey and my struggle, and I have to learn to embrace it (this sounds like a new blog topic, yes? Stay tuned!)
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